In The News: April 14, 2014

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Hello readers.  I spent all last night drinking beers and smoking cigars with the family and all morning reading the Sunday section of the New York Times/ rocking the crossword puzzle.  The best moments of this leisurely time on the porch with my dad, mom and sister included an in-depth conversation about George Bush’s art (how cool would it be to be friends with that dude?) and this exchange:

(Crossword hint: “great ball of fire,” 3 letters, second letter “u”)

Me: It’s definitely “sun.”

Dad: But the sun is just one big rock.

Me: No it’s not.  It’s literally a big ball of fire.  It’s made of gas.

Dad: You’re made of gas.

Dad: Well, I guess in that case the sun is the biggest ball of gas we know of.

Me: No it’s not.  It’s one of the smaller stars in the galaxy.  There’s scientific evidence.

Dad: Eh, how would you even know that…

(I have a mature family.)

All of this is to say, I will not be posting an entry until after Easter festivities. A big family lunch including the best fried rice I will ever eat in my life beckons.  But, fear not, tonight I will delve in topics including a shipwreck, a plane crash, and several other pleasant events!

 

Later That Night…

1. The death toll for the Korean Ferry is rising!  Up to 49.  This has not been a great season for crashes and disasters.  The repercussions aren’t pleasant either.  The vice principal of the school hung himself, and the captain of the ship was arrested, along with two crew members.  I guess this captain follows the Captain Jack rule book: “Don’t abandon your sinking ship!” must have been more of a guideline than a rule to him.

2. Officials in Australia think they’ll find something substantial in the case-of-the-missing-plane in a week or two.  I’m skeptical, but who knows what tomorrow might bring…

3. Finally, because the FDA’s standards on food and drugs are sometime questionable (have you heard about the Subway-yoga mat incident?  It’s kind of a glass-half-full or glass-half-empty situation.  Either you’re eating bread that is kind of not edible, OR you’re stretching on a yoga mat that is kind of edible), they’ve approved something that has some amazing implications: powdered alcohol.  You heard it right.  Apparently the creative were the best and the brightest because they coined their new concoction “palcohol.” Get it?  Powdered + alcohol.  It’s damn clever.  I’m fimpressed.  (That’s freakin impressed.)

What exactly do you DO with palcohol?  First of all, don’t snort it.  That is… a huge mistake.  Other sites have other rich ideas, including making an average omelette more exciting.  Because who doesn’t want to get drunk off their asses just by consuming their typical brunch?

“…we have found adding Palcohol to food is so much fun. Sprinkle Palcohol on almost any dish and give it an extra kick. Some of our favorites are the Kamikaze in guacamole, Rum on a BBQ sandwich, Cosmo on a salad and Vodka on eggs in the morning to start your day off right.”

 

Start off your day right, indeed.

 

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